


I love you (but I want to strangle you)

by hedicine, orphan_account



Category: BBC Radio 1 RPF, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Exes to Lovers, Famous Nick Grimshaw, Fluff, M/M, No Smut, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, Nurse Louis, POV Alternating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-25
Updated: 2018-12-25
Packaged: 2019-09-27 06:56:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17157353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hedicine/pseuds/hedicine, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Nick is partially blind after major surgery. Louis is his nurse. They don't get along at first but then they do. Can they be together when it's unethical and unprofessional?





	I love you (but I want to strangle you)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [simplerplease](https://archiveofourown.org/users/simplerplease/gifts).



> Thank you to Kit and Jiksa for being my wonderful beta's. Thank you to simplerplease for coming up with this wonderful prompt.  
> ~ This means scene change  
> ~~ This means a change in POV

Louis has been working as a nurse for eight years at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital and has never known a more obnoxious patient than Nick Grimshaw. He’s been Louis’ patient now for about a month and Louis is sick and tired of his poor attitude. He is definitely one of his most challenging patients. Nick is partially blind after major eye surgery; he can still see some colours and shapes, but that’s about it. However, he will eventually make full recovery of his eyesight. Louis understands that Nick has been frustrated and desperate to leave the hospital and that’s why he’s taken out his anger and frustration on Louis, but Louis has had enough. Louis is tempted to change patients but he doesn’t have the heart to do it. Deep down, way deep down, Louis cares about Nick. He knows that he is sassy and has a sharp tongue but he is a good person. He cares about his patients and wants to see them all make full recovery and live fulfilling lives.

Louis goes into Nick’s ward to bring him his lunch. He puts down the tray on Nicks lap and says a quiet, “Hello.”

“Hi Louis, thanks for the food. Is that chicken?”

“Yeah, Nick, it’s chicken with veg. I think your eyesight is improving a little bit every day,” Louis says with a small smile.

“I know, but not quickly enough.”

“It must be frustrating for you.”

“You have no idea,” Nick says with a sigh.

“I’m sorry, Nick.”

“Don’t be, I don’t want your pity, Louis,” he spits.

Louis sighs. He counts down to ten. Then he heads for the door.

“Wait! Don’t leave, I’m sorry. Can you please stay with me for a while.”

Louis finds himself smiling. It’s the first time ever that Nick has apologised to him for his poor attitude before. “Of course, I’ll stay as long as you’d like me to”  
He feels a rush of affection for Nick run through him. He wants to support Nick emotionally and be his friend; not many people visit Nick and Louis knows he gets lonely sometimes. He needs someone to take care of his emotional needs in addition to his physical needs.

“Thank you.”

“I’m always here, Nick. I want to be here for you.”

“It’s your job, though.”

“Yes that is true, and this may come as a surprise to you but I care about my patients, and that includes you.”

“You’re a good person, Louis.”

“I try to be.”

They both smile. Louis stays with Nick until his shift ends. Louis and Nick talk about everything: Nick’s hopes and dreams, whether Louis wants to train as a doctor or remain a nurse, and about how much Nick misses his dogs Pig and Stinky Blob his dogs. They share a few laughs together. It feels nice that they are getting along like this.  
Louis hopes it lasts.  
~  
The next day, however, Nick is as grumpy as usual. It’s like yesterday didn’t happen and Louis feels hurt by this. He tries to keep his emotions in check to take care of him like he needs, but Nick had nightmares last night. He often has them but Louis knows better than to ask what they are about. Nick will tell him when he is ready. He already has an idea what they could be about.

Louis remembers running into the room the other night when Nick was screaming bloody murder. He thought there was a killer in the room or something. Nick was thrashing about on the bed, screaming and Louis shook him and tried to wake him, but that didn’t work. In the end, he poured a glass of water in his face. Nick was furious with him when he woke up. He effed and blinded at Louis until he had enough and left the room. Louis couldn’t put up with that kind of verbal abuse. He knew Nick was in great distress but that doesn’t give him the excuse to treat Louis like a piece of shit.

Nick grumbles when Louis comes in to change his bed sheets. Louis ignores him as best as he can and focuses on the task at hand. He takes away Nick’s dirty sheets puts them in the washing machine turns it on and comes back with clean sheets to make Nick’s bed. He asks him if he would like a drink or a snack and Nick doesn’t say anything. Louis is about to leave the room when Nick grabs his hand. Louis’ shocked, as Nick has been nothing but unpleasant to him today.

“Please don’t go.”

“Why should I stay with you when you’ve been nothing but rude to me?”

Nick looks hurt.  _Bollocks. He looks so sad. He needs to get rid of that look._  
  
“I’m sorry please just stay for a while, keep me company.”

“Okay, love, I’ll stay.”

Nick likes it when Louis calls him love. He smiles softly. Louis notices Nick’s smile, and finds himself smiling in return. Nick has a lovely smile. Louis would like if Nick smiled more often. He has such a handsome face. Louis knew that Nick was attractive at least on an aesthetic level; however his attitude and personality have always been a turn off. Although this has changed somewhat, Nick has been more friendly with him and has been smiling more often. Louis knows that he’s not supposed to have any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with his patients.  _It’s highly unethical and wrong,_  Louis reminds himself. No, the relationships Louis has with his patients are strictly professional.

_Anyway, Nick wouldn’t want him that way._

Louis sits on a chair by Nick’s bed. He is still mildly grumpy but he clearly wants Louis to stay, so he does. Firstly, they sit mostly in silence with Nick making the occasional complaint, then Nick begins to ask him questions about himself and then Louis finds himself opening up and blabbers on about his life in Doncaster. However, Nick doesn’t seem annoyed anymore; he looks interested.  
~~  
Nick doesn’t feel like talking about himself today, he would rather hear more about Louis. Louis provides a good distraction from his mental and physical anguish. He’s an interesting person and Nick thinks that he may have some feelings for him.  
This has been very difficult for him to process because he is Louis’ patient and he is partially blind. He really wishes that he had met him in a different setting and maybe he could actually have a chance with him. He sometimes worries that Louis pities him and that angers him a lot.

Nick knows that sometimes he takes out his anger on Louis and that he doesn’t deserve it, not at all. He wishes that he was able to express to Louis that he is grateful for his care and that he does like him; he likes him a lot. He wishes that he could see what Louis looked like. He imagines that he is beautiful. He sounds beautiful. Louis has the most lovely voice; it’s soft and lilting. It’s slightly higher pitched than the average male voice, but Nick loves it. He loves to hear Louis speak about anything, so he keeps him talking.

~~

Louis notices that Nick asks him a lot of questions; he feels flattered. It’s nice to feel that somebody cares about him and is interested. When he tries to ask Nick questions, he deflects or gives very brief answers and then turns the questions on Louis. He worries that Nick is lonely and that’s why he is asking so many questions about him.

“Nick, I was wondering if you’d like to have any visitors come to see you, love. You must feel lonely without much company,” he tries gently but Nick is not having any of it. He throws him the most hostile glare. Louis’ heart sinks.

“Fuck off with your pity, Louis. If you don’t want to hang out with me, then just go.”

“Please, Nick, I didn’t mean it like that. I really enjoy your company.”  
Nick scoffs at that. “Yeah, hanging around with a blind invalid with attitude problems sounds like a barrel full of laughs,” he says sarcastically.

“Do you really think that badly of yourself, Nick? I like to be around you when you’re nice to me whether you’re blind or not. I care about you.” He really does care about him. Maybe more than he should really.

“Uh, I’m sorry, Louis. I know you’re a caring person or you wouldn’t be here.”

“Thanks, Nick, but you have to know it’s not just that. I care about you as an individual, I— I like you.”

Nick then slowly reaches towards Louis, pulls him in by his face and kisses him. Louis is shocked, too shocked to kiss him back or pull away. When he regains his senses, he gently pulls back from him.

“Nick,”

“Don’t, Louis,” Nick snaps.

“Please, Nick, listen to me. You know that I can’t kiss you. I’m not allowed to. Right?”

“I understand perfectly clear. You’re repulsed by my disability and trying to spare my feelings,” he says coldly.

“No, no, no that’s not true at all. Um,I-I really do, but it’s highly unethical.”

“Is that really true? So if I wasn’t your patient, would you kiss me back?”

“Look, when you’re out of my care and if you’d like to, maybe I could take you out somewhere if you—you want to that is,” Louis says sheepishly.  
“I’d really like that.”  
Louis leans forward and very quickly pecks his cheek. Nick smiles happily. Louis smiles too. He thinks he could fall for Nick, he really could.  _He might be already._  
~  
When Louis is in bed that night he finds that he can’t sleep. He can’t stop thinking about Nick and the fact that he kissed him. It felt nice and Louis wants to kiss him again, and properly. He just can’t, though; not just yet. Not until Nick is discharged and no longer his patient.  
He has no interest in dating anyone else. He will wait patiently until he is able to take Nick out on a date. He is slightly nervous about when Nick gets his sight back, of course he wants him to be able to see again, but he’s worried that Nick won’t find him attractive.  
He tries to keep these thoughts to himself. However Nick is good at getting things out of him.“Louis, what’s going on with you?”

“There’s nothing going on with me,” Louis snaps.

Nick sighs.

“Yes there is, spit it out!”

“Fine, okay. I’m scared that you won’t find me attractive when you see what I look like,” he says with embarrassment, hiding his face in his hands.

“Louis, that is preposterous. I fell in love with you just through getting to listen to you speak and getting to know you.”

“You’re in love with me?” Louis says, gasping with shock.

“Yes, I guess the cat is out of the bag.”

“I’m in love with you too.”  
~~  
Nick’s eyesight improves a bit more every day. One day, he can see the colour of Louis’ eyes and they are beautiful. He is swift to tell him this so Louis feels more confident that Nick will still love him when he can see what he looks like.

“Your eyes are the most beautiful shade of blue; I’m definitely not going to be grossed out by what you look like.”

“I mean I’m definitely not ugly and people say I’m good looking, but I’m worried that I’m not your type.”

“Louis, listen to me. I couldn’t give less of a fuck what you look like, okay? It’s your personality, wit, inner warmth and smart mouth that I fell in love with.”

Louis smiles softly to himself.“I’ve always been told that I’ve got a sharp tongue and a smart mouth.”

“You do and I can’t get enough of it”.

“I can’t get enough of you either, you’ve become the highlight of day.”

“And you, mine.”  
  
In two weeks Nick will be discharged from the hospital. His eyesight has seriously improved. He can now see Louis’ hair colour, eyebrows and the shape of his lips. He can make out what his food is before he puts in his mouth. He can see the colour of Louis’ and the other nurses scrubs. The doctors have faith now that he will make a full recovery of his eyesight. He is in much higher spirits than he was before. He can’t wait to be able to see properly again. Then he will be able to go back to work.

~~

Louis knows Nick works on the BBC Radio One in the morning. He’s made a name for himself in the UK and he is rather well known. Louis knew who Nick was before he became his patient. He has always enjoyed listening to BBC Radio 1 on the way to work in the morning.  
He’d had a bit of a crush on Nick and his crush has only grown as he’s gotten to know him. Now Louis is in love and it is scary. He’s never been in love before. He doesn’t have much time for dates or hookups. He hasn’t been laid in a long, long time. Louis isn’t a sex fiend though, so he doesn’t mind too much. He’s been far too distracted with work to think about sex.  
However, he really badly wants to take Nick out on a date. He is looking forward to when Nick stops being his patient.  
~  
It’s one week later when Nick gets his eyesight back. Nick is smiling wide when Louis walks into the room. “Louis, I can see again, I’ve got my eyesight back.”  
Louis very nearly drops the tray of food in his hand.

“Oh my god Nick, that is amazing.”

“I know by the way Louis you’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in my entire life. I can’t believe you were worried that I wouldn’t be attracted to you once I saw what you looked like.”

Louis blushes and bites his lip.

“Hey Lou, look at me.”

Louis looks at him.

“I love you, okay?”

“I know you do. I love you too.”

Louis smiles with happiness. He knows the hospital can discharge Nick early since he has got his eyesight back. He runs into Nick’s arms and hugs him. Nick lifts his head up and kisses Louis. Louis can’t help himself; he kisses him back enthusiastically. He feels elated, like he’s on top of the world.  
~~  
Nick is equally elated. He can finally be with the man he loves and go back to work. He can see again! He’s missed his sight more than anything! When he goes home to see his dogs, they’re overjoyed. They bark like mad.  
~  
On Monday, Nick goes back to work after taking the weekend off. He greets all his colleagues with enthusiasm. They’re delighted to see him. They all give him big hugs and a giant box of chocolates and a bottle of wine. He’s really missed his colleagues and friends. Nick and Louis make plans to go on their first date together next week. Louis has planned their date and told him it’s a surprise.  
While Nick feels excited about their date, he also feels very nervous because he really wants it to go well or he’d be heartbroken. He’s never been in love before. He doesn’t normally do relationships; he’s more of a hookup kind of bloke. Nick doesn’t want Louis to be just a fling though, he wants a relationship. He feels ready for that but they still need to go on their first date before then.  
~  
The following Friday is Nick and Louis’ first date. He still doesn’t know where Louis is taking him. Nick is not one for surprises. However he’ll try and be patient for Louis’ sake at least. Louis deserves Nick’s patience and cooperation after being such an arse at the hospital for many weeks. When Louis comes to pick him up, he puts a blindfold over his eyes.

“That’s pretty kinky Louis, given we haven’t gone on our date yet.” Nick laughs.

Louis joins him.“Be quiet, you.”

Nick laughs again.

~~

Louis takes off Nick’s blindfold when they arrive. It turns out that they’re at Winter Wonderland with stalls, rides, a cafe and an ice rink. It’s amazing. First they have a look around the stalls. Nick picks out a few candles; Louis pays for them despite Nick’s protests. They buy warm mugs of hot chocolate. Louis grabs Nick hands and asks him to accompany him on the Ferris wheel. When the reach the top of the ride, Nick is shaking. Louis notices.

“What’s wrong darling?”

“I-I d-don’t like Ferris wheels.”

“Aw, why didn’t you say?”

“I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You’re so sweet, you wouldn’t have disappointed me”.Louis pulls him in for a gentle kiss.“What would you like to do next?” Louis asks.

“I’d like to ice skate.”

“Sure, sounds fun.”  
They rent a pair of skates each and head to the ice rink. Neither of them are brilliant at it, but they try their best. Within the first five minutes of skating, they fall flat on their faces. Nick and Louis laugh loudly, then help each other up.  
Once they’re standing again, Nick pulls Louis in for a kiss. Louis is surprised but happy. He kisses him back enthusiastically. They stand there kissing for a couple of minutes then go back to skating.  
After an hour of skating, they decide to grab a bite to eat. Beside the ice rink is a cafe. Louis buys them both food. Nick objects, but Louis shuts him down. Later on, Louis wins Nick a teddy bear at one of the stalls. When Louis drops Nick off at his house, he gives him a warm affectionate good night kiss.

“Thank you for the amazing date, Louis.”

“You’re welcome, love, glad you enjoyed it.”  
~~  
Over the next couple of days, they text and call each other incessantly. Louis’ friends notice and ask him about. Louis is honest and admits that he is seeing someone. His friends ask if they’ve slept together yet. Louis blushes and says no, they’re only been on one date and aren’t ready for that yet. They want to take things slow.  
Nick says that he wants to arrange their next date. Louis thinks its fair since he picked their first date. Nick says it will be surprise. Unlike Nick, Louis actually enjoys surprises. The date being a surprise makes it more exciting somehow. He’s really looking forward to it.  
~  
Later that week, on the radio, Nick talks about the time he spent in hospital. He tells his listeners about the lovely nurse that cared for him and how they fell in love. Louis is not happy at all when he hears about it. He yells at Nick about how inappropriate it is and how he could he could have lost him his job. Plus he doesn’t want be in the newspapers and all over social media.

“I didn’t sign up for this, Nicholas. I don’t want it.”

“I’m sorry, Louis.”

“I’m sorry too, Nick. We can’t see each other anymore. We’re done.”

“But Louis, we’ve barely started! We’ve only been on one date and I had a wonderful surprise for our second date."

“Well, you should have thought of that before you mentioned me on the radio”, he yells.

Louis then storms out without saying goodbye. He already regrets ending things completely once he’s on the tube.It’s possible that he overreacted, but is he is still angry with Nick. Maybe he could have suggested that they take a break for a while.  
_Oh god_ , he thinks as he gets off the tube, he wishes he hadn’t ended it. Maybe he should call Nick? No. He can’t do that.  
He decides to spend the night at Zayn’s house. He spends the whole time crying on Zayn’s shoulder.“I messed up Z, I completely ended things with him and I regret it already.”

“Well then you need to talk to him before it’s too late.”

“I don’t know if I can do that, I’m angry with him but I don’t want to give him up completely. He’s the only man I’ve ever been in love with.”

Zayn gives him a look.

“Okay, okay. The only person I’ve ever been in love with.”

“Louis, you’re nearly 30 and you’ve never been in love until now. Don’t you think that makes Nick bloody special?”

“Yes, you’re right”, he concedes.  
~~  
Nick has crying his eyes out for the past few hours. He’s completely distraught. Beep. Beep. He’s just received a text. He quickly reads it. It’s from Louis!  _Hey Nick, I’m sorry for the way I ended things between us. I may have overreacted. I’m really angry with you but I don’t want to give up on us completely. I just need a bit of time to process what’s happened. I hope you understand. Love, Louis._

He quickly responds. _Hey Lou, it’s no problem, take all the time you need._

_Thank you, Nick._

_I love you, Louis._

_I love you too, even though I still want to strangle you._

Nick laughs, even though this is the least funny situation ever. He feels relieved that things aren’t completely over between him and Louis, but he’s disappointed that he will have to postpone their date. He was really excited about it. He tries not to dwell on it too much, he should be grateful he hasn’t lost Louis. He’s still got a chance to make things right between them.  
~~  
Louis has been feeling low for the past couple of weeks since he temporarily ended things with Nick. He hadn’t realized how big a part of his life Nick had become. They used to speak to each other every day and now they’ve haven’t had any contact in weeks.  
Louis misses him. He’s constantly tempted to contact him, but he resists. He’s still mad. Fortunately thing have been fine at work, he’s not gotten into any trouble, thank god. Louis’s been staying off social media and has been avoiding the tabloids so he doesn’t really know what people are saying about him. Truthfully he doesn’t actually want to know. He wants to live as normal a life as possible. Louis knows that he should get in touch with Nick soon and he really wants to be he can’t, just yet. He still needs more time.  
~  
He decides that he is ready to see Nick a week or so later. He sends him a text and asks to meet him. They meet at a cafe in town. Nick looks good, Louis thinks. He’s really missed him. He deeply regrets not contacting him for so long. He really hopes that Nick will give him a chance for them to get back together and hopefully go on that second date.

“Hello, Nick,” he says.

“Hi Louis, how are you?” Nick asks with a small smile.

“I’m not that great, to be honest. Nick, I’m so sorry that I overreacted. What you did was sweet and I acted like a coward and an arsehole. I love you, I don’t care who knows. We didn’t get together until you stopped being my patient anyway.”

“No, no Lou, it’s okay, you were hurt and you were allowed to be, I put you in a difficult position.”

“Nick you’re too good for me, how can you possibly forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive,” Nick says with a smile.

“So we can get back together then and hopefully go on that second date?”

“Yeah we can,” says Nick, laughing softly.

Later that week Nick takes him on their second date. It goes amazingly well. Nick takes him to the beach and it’s the perfect date. They buy ice cream, made sandcastles and swim in the sea. He’s glad that he and Nick worked things out, otherwise he’d be heartbroken.  
Now they’re lying in Louis’ bed cuddling. Nick kisses him on the head and says, “I love you.”  
“I love you too.”  
~  
On year later, they live together and Louis has a ring on his finger. He's never been so happy in his life. Louis is so happy he was able to work things out with Nick after nearly ruining everything when he had ended thing between them abruptly.

 


End file.
